There was a recent discussion on our pen club Slack about bottles that got me thinking about bottle shapes. I was not put on this earth to tell you what people say about dog owners — live long enough with any pet and you two will start looking oddly similar — but personally, I’m convinced some bottles are made just to make those owners tell everyone else how great it they are, while they sweat in their own homes trying not to stain their carpets.
Akkerman: Let’s face it, you’re after the bottle, not after the ink. Some people call you shallow because looks matter more than anything, I call you practical because this has to be one of the coolest looking bottles to ever bottle in the history of bottling.
Akkerman 28
Caran D’Ache: The bottle that looks ordinary but then you proudly pull it out and present it to the audience and expect them to swoon because on flat surface, the bottle looks like a melting cake. You’re the type of person who did this once and then returned the bottle back in the box because stacking these is impossible, and despite the fact you like novelty, all you really do is chase dopamine. And you probably thought you had too much money on your hands because you can find the same inks in much more affordable bottles.
Caran D’Ache Hypnotic Turquoise or Joey Tribiani of inks… ‘How you doin’
Colorverse: You’re a sucker for the mini ones, admit it. The bigger ones don’t feel as special because they start looking like any other ink bottles, but the least practical and the smallest bottles are your jam. You’ll adopt the runt of the litter and tell it all about astrophysics.
Colorverse Brane (left)
Diamine 30ml: I dare you to stick anything but Muji aluminum fountain pen in it, and if you went and tried, how does that ink stain look? I love Diamine, don’t get me wrong; I won’t say they’re my favorite bottles ever, those 30ml ones, but I know my limits. I fill the converter directly from the bottle because I am sane. If this is your favorite bottle, you like to travel and you often drop things, or you have one of those 3d printed holders and you can deal with a small opening. You like simple pleasures in life and you know value when you see it. You don’t have just one of these; you have several, and you know the ink is both affordable and reliable.
Diamine Oxford Blue
Ferris Wheel (any): You collect glass figurines, probably like to knit, and your handwriting should be taught in schools. You don’t know why people think you have a collection of perfumes. And your favorite color is probably dusty pink.
Ferris Wheel Press Once Upon a Time: base color is like Prickly Pear but without sheen. I’m in love.
Iroshizuku 50ml: Your favorite ink is either Kon Peki or Yama Budo, and you started your fountain pen journey by watching Brian Goulet on YouTube. If you tell me otherwise, you’re lying. You like the freedom of luxury, but you’re not flashy. You enjoy quality, yet no one would be able to tell just from looking at you.
Iroshizuku Kon Peki. Why’s the label blue? Read one of the early posts to hear all about it.
Noodler’s: You love to live dangerously. Your focus is impeccable, and you don’t drink caffeine because it doesn’t work on you; if you did drink it, you could slam back seven cups of coffee and your hands still wouldn’t shake. When you open that bottle, you are able to actually stick the pen into the bottle and somehow not spill a single drop, defying physics on the way.
Noodler’s 1984, first batch. Never used, I’m just a sucker for that book.
Robert Oster: Utilitarian to your core, you also like to travel, but you are super specific and pedantic. There is that one specific shade of blue you like and you will not budge because there is a huge difference between Bondi Blue, Frankly Blue, Soda Pop Blue, Blue Denim, Blue Sea, Blue Water Ice, Lake of Fire, and Fire and Ice, and if you don’t see it, it’s on you.
Robert Oster… and I didn’t use my favorite blue by them as I don’t have the bottle.
Sailor Shikiori: You’re nostalgic for the discontinued bottle where you got 50ml for basically the same price although if it was still around you’d be complaining how stupid the little included inkwell is. You’re the type of person who looks out of the window and sighs, believing the 90s were so much better than today’s world. You walk around in daze and tell people that in your days, inks came in bigger bottles.
Sailor Shikiori Kitsune Biyori sitting on the old bottle of Oku Yama.
Pelikan and Lamy bottles: You live in Europe, specifically in Southeastern Europe, and there’s nothing else available, and you pretend to like these inks (I may be projecting because that was me five years ago). Or, you’re just easy to please, you are simple, traditional, and know that these inks will outlast any other ink ever made.
Pelikan Blue Black (left)
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All in all, if you have at least one bottle of fountain pen ink, you’re already too weird for normies, but you do have a huge community of likeminded individuals, most of which are super cool to talk to. If it wasn’t obvious by now, during my fountain pen journey, I’ve gone through all of these phases, so yes, the clickbait title is exactly that, clickbait.
What’s your favorite bottle?
Called me out with the Iroshizuku. Uncanny observation
I started to comment with "FWP feels like a personal attack on me", but then so did Iroshizuku, and so did Robert Oster, and so did Sailor Shikiori... so uh, yeah, the last point is clearly right.