The five toxic ex inks

Or inks I’ll never talk to again because I’m evil of course but not as much as those ghosting meanies

It occurred to me the other day that my reviews are mostly positive; I mean, what can one expect when I literally review things I own. I can’t review things I’ve never used, can I? Plus, despite what my collection may show, I’m not rich. I just have the tastes of a rich person while wearing the same pair of pants for the last eight years. Priorities!

Anyway, as many other pen nerds, I’m guilty for giving a second chance to a potential date ink despite the full stadium of red flags. Once upon a time, before I discovered the most perfect black ink known to pen addicts, I tried to get as many samples of permanent/bulletproof/waterproof inks I could, which wasn’t a lot as I still lived in Europe and for some reason, our customs really liked opening packages that seemed like they were worth more than $50. Options being limited with shipping rates being — no joke — $30 from some countries, I settled on Noodler’s Black, Blackstone Barrister Black, and probably a few others that I don’t remember anymore. Thank you fountainfeder.de for shipping to bumfuck Eastern Europe (lovingly).

If you were to check the dictionary definition of ‘disappointment’, you’ll find both of those inks’ pics next to it. If you look for ‘what the hell did I just put on the page’, you’ll find Blackstone Barrister Black, the ink that feathers on Col-o-Ring, looks like grey sludge, and is super unusable. No idea what barristers were thinking while using this one.

Now I’m not trying to be evil. I’m sure other inks of theirs are perfectly fine and my sample was just not for me. I’m just glad I didn’t get the full bottle (unlike multiple other times I did exactly that).

Blackstone Barrister Black does not look black at all. It’s a dull, greyish ink that, as mentioned, feathers. As for waterproofness (I don’t have a gun and I have never fired one so I can’t tell if it’s bulletproof), I will say it possibly could be, but all I remember was trying to scrub that sludge thing out of my pen and since it was a chore, I’d say it probably is at least a tiny bit waterproof.

But at what cost?

Blackstone Barrister Black feathering because why not

My next evil ex ink would be Noodler’s Dragon’s Napalm. Aside from the very odd choice of name (not gonna get into that here), the ink is super unpleasant to the eye. My eye, of course. I don’t want to have to say that every time but this is all my opinions, alright. Anywho, imagine being forced into using a highlighter on a super bright paper. It will burn your eyes for sure. Well, if you don’t have highlighters, just use this ink instead on say Clairefontaine Triomphe (don’t. It hurts). Thankfully, this was also a sample so I don’t feel like I wasted money on a bottle I’ll never use.

Not like I’ve used up more than three bottles in my life, but that’s beside the point.

Noodler’s Dragon’s Napalm burning my eyes and if it doesn’t burn yours, congrats, hindsight is 20/20

As most of my close friends know (and they’re not pen addicts), I have a problem with Yafa pens. Well, Conklin pens to be exact. I just haven’t had a good experience with them, from the nibs being shoddy (looking at you, original omniflex nibbed Duraflex and two of your stub nib replacements) to materials being low quality (pen arrived with a piece of ‘carbon fiber’ cracking off). But I do like me Monteverde inks, with Smoke Noir being my favorite grey. However, I received a free 90ml bottle of Monteverde Charoite with one of them pens I still have, and let me tell you… that’s the absolute dullest, most boring purple ink I’ve ever had the displeasure of using. It’s supposed to be well lubricated (and it is) and well behaved (and it is, except that it stained a Wing Sung plastic feed), but man… it’s so boring I could cry. If you manage to put it in a super flex nib and use Tomoe River paper, you might be lucky to see the rich purple that is promised in all the photos, and that voluptuous green sheen to it, but ain’t nobody got time for that.

Monteverde Charoite just being boring

Speaking of green stuff, I have a green ink — also known as

@idipbananasintocoffee

’s least favorite color ever — on my shit list here, and that is the now discontinued¹ Pelikan Brilliant Green.

First of all, Karen, there is no such thing as ‘brilliant’ green (or brown for that matter, but I happen to like their brown and their turquoise is my favorite budget turquoise). Secondly, for how much I bashed the previous three inks, one would think I couldn’t say anything worse for this one, and they’d be wrong.

Namely, I have a bit of a condition that I can’t explain but it looks like selective synesthesia, since looking at this ink on the page made me physically sick. It is so bad looking, so flat, so dull, so boring, that just looking at it made me dizzy and I immediately not only cleaned my pen, but I also got rid of the bottle too. And I do not feel bad about it. Hoping that the new green they added looks better but I’m not ready to try. Ew.

Pelikan Brilliant Green aka Barfy Greeble

And now for something completely different; an ink that is beautiful but I can’t use it.

Last but not least — and please don’t crucify me — Wearingeul Robinson Crusoe. Man, this ink looks so beautiful in pictures. It was actually my first foray into Wearingeul inks, and the reason I kept buying more and more samples. But it just. Won’t. Flow. I used it in three different pens, three different nib sizes (F, SM, 1.0 stub), tried with both steel and gold nibs, and it will not flow. It would work for a few sentences and the pen would just give up and be like ‘I’m done with this toxic POS’, as if we’re talking about the real Robinson Crusoe or my brother trying to read that book. I even scoured Reddit in search of any insight as to why this was happening, and it seems it is me. No matter how much I cleaned my pens, this is the only ink I’ve ever had that just didn’t want to be a part of my collection. And I’m heartbroken.

Wearingeul Robinson Crusoe aka the one that got away

Again, all opinions are my own; I’m sure some of you like some of these inks and you’re entitled to your own wrong opinion. These are just some inks that just don’t work for me. I’m wondering what are those toxic ink for you? Let me know!

If you enjoy my content, consider hitting those like and share buttons there as I have no idea if they work. And maybe there are haters out there who would also enjoy some of my nerdy thoughts.

Until next time — may your inks never go moldy.

P. S. That’s how I had to dump my Apache Sunset :(

1. And there was much rejoicing :insert Monty Python and the Holy Grail gif here: