The three impulsive buys I want to hate

But I don’t and it’s frustrating that these pens are just so good I can’t sell them now

Let me preface this with “I absolutely did not plan to buy any of these, but the sale prices were just that hecking good that I thought to myself, if I don’t buy these now and want them later, they’ll be more expensive, but if I do buy them and don’t like them, I can always sell them for profit”. Naturally, all that said and done, now I have these expensive pens that write so perfectly I can’t sell them, so whatever I saved I didn’t really save because they’re still mine.

Rats. Penaddictmath played me for a fool.

Without further ado, I present to you —

Lamy Dialogue 3

Lamy’s answer to no one’s question and Pilot’s Vanishing Point, which is arguably the best clicky/retractable fountain pen this world has to offer, was to make a cylinder that twists and makes a nib peek out on one end. You wouldn’t even know which end if the pen didn’t have a clip (and even with that, why would the clip be on the front end, the Bic User asked). Don’t lie, you wouldn’t know. Dialogue 3, or D3¹, comes in several colorways (and by several, I mean four, two of which are variants of black); I picked matte black because it matches my cold, dead heart. The D3 that arrived to my doorstep after Endless Pens decided to trick me into buying another pen looks like a matte black cigar with a grey, almost usable clip on one end, two grey lines running down its body, and a small yet tasteful LAMY etched on the opposite end. That’s it. That’s the pen. The Germans don’t play around: this pen, as most Lamy pens are, is nothing if not utilitarian to the absolute max, and it’s absolutely to the point.

The point being, of course, the gold nib on the business end that becomes the business end with a twist of your hand. Unlike with the Vanishing Point, though, you definitely need to use both hands to operate this beast.

Look at that bad boy nib.

Now, what bothers me about the D3 is the fact that stupid nib looks the same as those on their way more affordable pens, such as the Safari, the Studio, or, actually, any except the 2000 (not that that one is affordable, but you get my point). You could potentially slide this sucker off and put it on your Vista, effectively frankenpenning it into a super cool and stupidly expensive plastic pen². However, the key difference here is the fact this nib is actually hecking great, as in so good that it made me hate everything.

I’m not joking. I have several “lower end” Lamy pens, a Vista, an Al-Star, and since my wife will never use her Lamy Safari Petrol I got her, that’s also mine, and the only nib I like between the EF, M, and italic, is the last one. Lamy nibs are notoriously all over the place, as are Kaweco nibs, but that’s for the steel nibs. The gold ones? Ho boy. The 14k bicolor F nib I have on this pen is the smoothest, most gushy nib ever, to the point I was absolutely convinced someone was pranking me because no Lamy nib can be smoother and more exciting than a Pilot nib.

Alas, no hidden cameras here. After fiddling with the mechanism a bit, yours truly figured that the only bad side of this pen is that it’s not beginner friendly, as they almost emailed customer service to say something wasn’t right. Almost³.

The cons? A few. The pen is too big for most users, in my opinion; it’s just a huge cylinder and if that’s your jam, more power to you. For me, it’s not a pen for longer writing sessions as my hand keeps cramping from it being uncomfortable to hold, as it wants to slip and move too much. The nib will dry out if you don’t use the pen often enough and will hard start, although that may be said for most clicky pens, as is the nature of the mechanism. To be frank, though, my Majohn A1 dries slower. Just my $0.02.

I can’t get rid of this pen because of that hecking nib. Too good to be dropped.

How it fits in the hand. It doesn’t. It’s falling out of my hand is what it’s doing.

Leonardo Momento Zero Mosaico

Endless Pens strikes again it seems. The pen was gorgeous to look at, and then it was on sale, and then I got store credit, and then I watched Doodlebud’s video review of it, and said yes to it, and then… it was here.

Again, nothing wrong with the pen. The packaging is luxury on the side of excessive; you get a booklet, and a bottle of Leonardo Black ink, which is super nice, especially since there’s no snowball’s chance in hell you’ll ever be able to actually clean the thing because Leonardo wants you to spend an extra $35 for a wrench to disassemble the piston, and you can’t unscrew the grip section, so you’d better commit to one ink. It’s girthy, but not heavy; it’s definitely a conversation starter. My qualm with it is the fact it’s just a sliver too thick at the grip for me to use it comfortably for a longer writing session.

And again, it’s the nib that does it for me. Well, not just the nib. The beautiful Italian acrylic there is also a huge plus; the stacks of green and black and blue and yellow are to die for. It’s truly a work of art. The clip is actually functional. If you left it on the table, no one would think it’s a black cylinder and instead you’d be out of a pen in no time. It looks more expensive than it retails for. It has so much going for it. But if I had tried it in person — without using it — if I’d held it, I would’ve said it’s not for me.

Except, of course, for that damned EF flexy/soft nib that is so perfect I could just toss all of my bananas against the wall. It’s consistent and soft enough for some line variation, and it’s smooth and a joy to use. Besides, as I said, it’s so beautiful it takes me back to that time when I was in high school and we got to go to Italy and stand in front of the museums in Florence because our field trip was gonna be on Monday despite the fact no museum is open on Mondays. Good times.

I wish I hated this pen, but I can’t. Too pretty, and too good of a writer.

Cons: too big, too cumbersome to clean, too girthy.

I mean sure it looks good but so does pasta and I hate pasta.

Lamy 2000

If you didn’t think this was going to be on my list, do you even know me? The Lamy 2000 has to be one of the most polarizing gold nibbed pens in our community, with people swearing by it and people swearing at it, and sometimes those two groups blend together into an echo chamber of people saying one has to try this pen at least once.

Naturally, yours truly decided not to try it but to still buy it as the first group was louder. Note to self: do not go with a medium oblique nib next time, because that’s not a good idea.

Having this pen in my collection, I’ve learned quite a bit.

1. I do not like oblique nibs and to use one, I had to have it ground to a stub of sorts;

2. I should not listen to other people and when I say I am not a fan of Lamy pens, I should stick to it;

3. I do not care about German engineering. Seriously, yes, I know it’s been 50 years or more since it first came out, and there haven’t been any changes because you can’t perfect perfection, but can you look at the clip and tell me it doesn’t remind you of 1996 Lara Croft’s boobs? Look it up since I try to keep this blog relatively PG-13. I’ll wait.

The most maddening thing about this pen is the fact I actually seem to enjoy it. The feel of it, the weight or lack thereof, the gold nib that’s unlike most other gold nibs (small as heck but so nice and cushy), the small ink windows. It’s a good pen. It’s not an exciting pen by any means; I can think of several steel nibbed pens in the same price point that I’d pick over this one in a heart beat — and yet, I keep coming back to the 2000 like it’s a video game from my youth⁴ and nostalgia hit me hard.

Cons: finicky nib, silly clip, unassuming and boring design.

Pros: that damn nib because when it’s good it’s good. And the pen gets warmer when you use it. Super nice.

If it fits, it gets reviewed.

Those are the three pens I thought of immediately; I am sure there are several more who deserve to be on this list, but I didn’t come here to bash Sailor. It’s interesting to me that they couldn’t be more different; a twist cap, a retractable pen, and a slide off cap (it’s not a snap cap if it doesn’t snap, Brent).

Writing sample and group photo!

If you could get rid of one pen that you hate because you love it, what would it be? Leave a comment and commiserate with me, or check out the video version of this post.

1. Not 3D but I wish.

2. Then again, resin is plastic, so most gold nibbed pens are just that, plastic pens with gold nibs!

3. I might have actually done it.

4. Although I have played Tomb Raider I, it’s not the game I was thinking of. It would be Heroes of Might and Magic III, thank you.